Dustin Williams

A few of the most common things I get asked are: what do I drink, if it’s good, and how to make it. To take care of the first two, it’s called a ‘White Russian’, and yes, it’s very good. It’s a rich and creamy sipping treat, which finally got some long-due credibility in some circles when The Big Lebowski hit.

Ignore the martini fads, those come and go, but the White Russian has staying power. They are that good. With that out of the way, we’re left with the third…

A white russian is made up of three ingredients:

• 1 part Vodka
• 1 part Kahlua
• 1 part Cream

Generally, take a tumbler and fill it with ice, add the vodka, then the kahlua, then the cream. The ratios are just a rule of thumb, and there are many variations depending on who you’re making it for (generally, women prefer more cream).

Mixing proportions

A black russian is basically a white russian without the cream, so for something that tastes a bit less like a treat, you can just give it a small splash of cream. There are a few other variations I know about, that work well depending on who your audience is.

• 2 part Vodka
• 1 part Kahlua
• 1 part Cream

And…

• 2 part Vodka
• 1 part Kahlua
• 4 part Cream

Of course, suit to taste, so anything between the stock and the variations I’ve given you is just fine. For a really interesting treat, you can substitute Bailey’s Irish Cream for the cream.

And of course there’s the Colorado Bulldog, which is a white russian with another part of coca cola added at the last, which many women love but which few bars admit exist.

Variations on the ingredients

• Vodka

I like nice things, but there are times when they just don’t really matter and your money is just going down the drain for the sake of a label. When it comes to vodka, quality is important only when you’ll be sipping it straight or slightly mixed.

When it comes to something like a white russian, what you get from a nice sipping vodka is going to be overpowered enough that it’s really worth having two bottles: the good stuff, and the stuff for the white russians. There are better places in the makeup of your drink to put your cash.

The absolute worst is when I see kids making jello shots with something like Absolut or Skyy vodka. That’s just, and shows just how pathetic the public education system has become.

• Cream

This one is important. You might have a tendency to say “Cream is bad for you, mmmkay?” and try to substitute something else, but it’s good to remember that you aren’t making a jug of the stuff. It’s a sipping drink, and cream really does add to the texture and flavor and is highly recommended. Some like half and half, which is half milk and half cream. That works fine too.

However, sometimes you just don’t have cream around. Understandable, I’ve certainly been there. In those situations, 2% milk works. It’s not ideal, but it’ll do. Milk with 1%, or egh, skim milk, is absolutely a last resort. It does something, but you lose so much flavor and texture, and the difference is so vast, that you might as well just go with the black russian.

Lastly, soy milk. I don’t know anyone who has tried it, although a girl suggested it once. This is usually the darling of vegans, and I have a few I count as friends.

But… soy milk? Don’t even go there, you don’t need the negative karma.

• Kahlua

This one confuses people outside of the USA sometimes, but basically Kahlua is just a variant of coffee liquor. There are a bunch of them, and if Kahlua itself isn’t available to you, you want a rich and dark variety. Since you cheaped out on the vodka, you’re able to splurge a bit here and not get the really awful stuff.

Kahlua itself is a rich, dark brown coffee liqueur made from Mexican coffee, with cane spirits (yep, from sugar cane, kinda like rum) and a slight hint of vanilla. It’s considered to be very thick-bodied, and also has sugar and a bit of vodka in it already.

Yes, it’s good sipping just on its own, or in coffee, hot chocolate, or over warm brownies with a dollop of ice cream, or lightly drizzled over a piece of vanilla cheesecake… it’s worth keeping in the house. It’s been around forever, since before World War II, but weirdly enough it didn’t come to America until the early 1960s. Don’t bother asking why I know that.

The cream provides the texture, but if you’re going to be able to tell the difference in flavor it will be here, so budget accordingly. It really isn’t that big of a deal though, so just use what you have and enjoy it.

• A note on mixing, for the children

I’m going to assume you don’t have a cocktail shaker and are just going to go ghetto on mixing your drink, like I usually do. Here are some things to keep in mind…

You want your white russian to be chilled, but not watery. Watery is very bad, and the easiest way to have a watery drink is too much alcohol and not enough ice. Quite a few glasses of mine actually has too much white russian and not enough ice, but that’s because I pre-mix it at a point and store it chilled in the fridge for the first few of the evening before I’ve fully hit the sipping stage.

When you’re adding the ingredients, what you want to avoid is having the vodka floating on top. This is very easy to do if you are just adding the alcohol over the ice and giving a quick stir. Vodka first, then Kahlua, then cream over top. The heavier liquids are already migrated down and mingling, so with a half-second stir you’re set.